5 Ways to Build Relationship with Your Child

One of the things I had to learn as a preschool teacher in the classroom was the power of relationships between myself and the students. Every school year, without fail, the one or two students will arrive with some sort of behavioral issue, from constant tantrums, extreme separation anxiety, to constantly hitting and or biting. All behavior is communication and a indicator of what skills a child needs. In order to effectively teach a relationship of trust needs to be built between the teacher and the student.

The same concept exist for parents who teach their children at home. If a child does not have a healthy, quality relationship with their parent (s) teaching them will be difficult. Here are five ways to build a stronger connection with your child, which can help alleviate some of the stress that comes with homeschooling.

1. Play with your child. Engaging in playful activities, and conversations is an effective way to build a strong relationship with your child. While children do need independent play, research shows that play with parents is also important. Enjoy going outside, playing children board games, doing a craft together, reading books, watching a movie or just sitting around talking. Engaging in play is a fun way to make a connection and effectively teach them at home.

2. Reading together - Having a quiet time for reading together is another way to build a relationship and develop a connection. Allowing the child to cuddle or sit on your lap while reading is always a great idea. Taking a story and performing some of the actions is a way to enjoy a book with a busy preschooler or toddler. For an example, while reading Goldie Locks and the Three Bears, the child can act out eating porridge and reacting to it being too hot or too cold. Reading is also an opportunity to engage in conversation with your child by asking them what they think will happen next, what certain words or ideas mean, and what they think about the book.

3. Give your child a voice - Children need to feel heard and their feelings need to be validated. Allow your child to voice how they feel without judgement, there is nothing wrong with how they feel and knowing how to talk about their feelings is an important social emotional skill that they must develop. Your child needs to feel they can talk to you and be heard. Problem solve together and allow them to participate in resolutions. Give them options (options that you are find with ) so they feel they have some kind of control. Giving your child a voice builds their confidence, self esteem, helps them to feel valued and sends them the message that what they think and feel matter.

4. Set boundaries and make clear expectations - Making your expectations clear, setting boundaries and consistently enforcing them helps to build mutual respect. Children need rules and consequences (not punishment) for breaking a rule. For an example, Timmy's mom makes it clear that she expects his toys to be put up before he can eat his dinner. If Timmy doesn't get it done, the consequence can be his food getting cold because he waited until after dinner started to pick up his toys. Boundaries and clear expectations is important in every relationship, including the one you have with your child.

5. Parent and child rituals - Having little rituals that you do together can also strengthen the bond between you both. A ritual is can be reading a bed time story and tucking your child in bed each night. A ritual can be a special handshake that you do before school starts. Creating these special times and ways for connection builds trust, and security for your child.

Bonus: Never be afraid to say I am sorry. Parents are human and make error in judgments just like anyone else. It is important to identify, own up to mistakes and apologize when necessary. Admitting a wrong does not diminish your leadership or authority but exemplify what good leadership looks like to your child and teaches them a skill they need; the ability to say "I'm sorry."

Double Bonus: Tell them you love them often!

Aerika D. Lewis, B.A,M.A.

Potter and Clay Academy Founder/ Teacher